Here are the reasons I am afraid to write a blog:
-It will not be good
-It will not have purpose
-It will not be well-written
-It will not be read
-It will not be engaging for others to read
-It will not be "true-to-me"
-What the hell is "true-to-me"?
-It will document what I think about. More importantly...
-It will document what I don't think about, pronouncing my ignorance
-It will be material for others to use when judging me
-It will advertise my grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, which is the polar opposite of what a freelance writer and private tutor aims to advertise
-It will be another thing with which I fail to follow-through
Here is what I think about blogs in general:
-They are dumb
-They are for people who aren't me
-They are a "dying art." Or, at least, anything you can find in a blog you can find somewhere else
-There are too many of them on the internet
-They are for people who have internet access and a lot of people don't consistently have internet access
-They are for people who are self-absorbed
-They aren't read
-They are for fashion, recipes, celebrity gossip, among other things that capitalize on historically feminine gender roles or
-They are for really smart, engaged people who know way more than I do and woke in ways I'm afraid I'll never actually grow to be
Here are two quotes that I've read in the past 48 hours that I'd like to absorb but also make me roll my eyes:
"Maybe you fear that you are not original enough.
"Maybe that's the problem-- you're worried that your ideas are commonplace and pedestrian, and therefore unworthy of creation.
"Aspiring writers will often tell me, 'I have an idea, but I'm afraid it's already been done.'
"Well, yes, it probably has already been done. Most things have already been done-- but they have not yet been done by you."
-Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
[Image description: A notebook lays on the ground atop a rug. Two toes peak into the frame. The notebook page reads, in hand-drawn bubble letters, "Perhaps the art of harvesting the secret riches of our lives is best achieved when we place profound trust in the act of beginning. Risk might be our greatest ally. To live a truly creative life, we always have to cast a critical look at where we presently are, attempting always to discern where we have become stagnant and where new beginning might be ripening. There can be no growth if we do not remain open an vulnerable to what is new and different. I have never seen anyone take a risk for growth that was not rewarded a thousand times over." -John O'Donohue]